September, 2018

In what way did you help Rudraaksh reach his goal?
We never treated him as a special kid and always encouraged him to dream big. We helped him channelize his obsessions constructively in a way that has been beneficial to him. Both of us were with him at every stage and allowed him to make mistakes and learn from them. As parents, we spared no effort in providing him with all the options we could, be it in academics, sports or   hobbies. For instance, we kept introducing him to all.

kinds of sports until Rudraaksh picked up swimming. He is self-driven and has always surprised us with his constant progress. He used his stubbornness constructively and perhaps, being autistic helped him stay focused on his goals.

In what way did you help Rudraaksh reach his goal?
We knew he was well-prepared and would clear the exams. However, from experience, we decided not to have any expectations regarding his marks because the board exam would only test his writing skills, not his actual learning. While he was always good at grasping the concepts and giving verbal answers, his writing was usually an issue. We had been working on his handwriting, sequencing of points, giving only the points that were needed and not jot down points that were superfluous, etc.
However, in order to build his self-belief and to keep him motivated, we kept a goal of achieving 90 percent. This made it possible for him to dream big and believe that he would be able to achieve whatever he wants. He made tremendous efforts throughout the year and that helped him to do well.
His teachers at GD Goenka School deserve credit for motivating, testing and encouraging him to do better by just being there for him whenever he needed them.
List five qualities you feel parents of autistic children should have to help their children.
• Living in denial is a natural phase for parents of children on the autism spectrum post the diagnosis.However, it is crucial we get past this phase as soon as possible for the betterment of the child. Accept your child and accept only those who accept your child.
• Both parents have to support and encourage each other. The early years of diagnosis will be the toughest for the parents as they will have to learn and adapt to each person’s natural style of parenting and adapt it to the child’s requirement.
• Both parents have to work in sync with specialists,teachers and therapists. Get regular feedback, tips and tricks from them to learn what triggers a meltdown in your child and what can be done to manage it. The therapy the child receives in his/her formative years will serve as a foundation for the rest of your lives.
• Understand your child’s limitations and have realistic goals for them. Being unreasonable could be counter-productive
• Experiment with different techniques to teach your child.
Rudraksh has made you proud with his score. How did you help him and yourself deal with success and drawbacks?
We are proud of Rudraaksh and we have celebrated every milestone in his progress, be it big or small. It has been a long journey where we have been through a spectrum of emotions such as distress, fear for his future and a constant striving to remain positive. Initially, the progress seemed very slow but he has come a long way through sheer hard work. There have been times when his results didn’t meet his expectations but we made sure we were around to talk to him and help him overcome it. We revealed his diagnosis to him over a period of time and he has come to terms with it. Also, we constantly keep reminding him and help him understand why he sometimes has difficulties in areas that a typical child of his age does not. We have found that keeping him motivated and positive is the key to his success.

How well-equipped do you think schools in India are for differently abled people?
India still has a long way to go in preparing public areas for differently-abled people. Ramps and other basic facilities are conspicuous due to their absence in many schools in India. While some schools adjust to this by shifting the class to the ground floor, this cannot be accepted as a solution to the problem. The topic needs to be given more thought to ensure more stream lined inclusion.
I feel the CBSE Board, in particular, has played a crucial role by initiating several measures for promoting inclusion. For instance, they have made it mandatory to appoint special educators in their schools and have simplified the process of accommodating the children seamlessly.
We were fortunate to avail ourselves of the support of two excellent schools – GD Goenka Gurgaon and The Shriram Police Public School, which have truly imbibed the idea of inclusion in their schools unlike several other schools that just pay lip service to the idea of inclusion.

We do hope schools like GD Goenka and The Shriram Police Public School show the way forward to others. The progressive policies of the CBSE should ensure that all schools under their umbrella comply with it.

What did Shri Ram Police Public School do differently that did wonders for Rudraksh?
The Shri Ram Police Public School was the first school where Rudraaksh felt accepted. They worked hard to sensitise his classmates and teachers. For the first time, he did not have teachers frowning at him or ignoring him. His classmates included him in their activities. He felt included!
They learnt to take his walking around the classroom in their stride. In just two years of his schooling there, he had settled in the class without roaming around, he was more focused on his academics finally, as he did not have to worry about being accepted anymore. Thus he started making progress academically.
His current school, GD Goenka Public School, Gurgaon was also very welcoming and gave him the space to adjust. Their counsellor was always available to help him sort out any differences and worked hard to ensure he knew about the facilities available to all special needs students in the CBSE stream. He has been able to make his mark as an individual, thanks to the efforts of both the schools.

A lot of parents of autistic children tend to isolate their children from social gatherings. What is your take on it?
It is not a healthy way of raising our children. People say that autistic people are not social and prefer not to mingle but that is not true. The reason some children are uncomfortable is because of sensory issues or merely under developed social skills. It is important for society as a whole to accept differences and make adjustments in their social activities to include all children. Only when there is awareness, will there be change. Hiding the fact that the child is autistic, and denying him/her things typical children of their age are exposed to, will only result in hampering the child’s development. If anybody has a problem, the parents need to step up and ensure that the person understands that their child has every right to be a part of a social gathering. This can be done without getting defensive or fighting but telling the person about the child’s needs and requesting them to understand. Though it is easier said than done, I feel this must be done to create a more aware and empathetic society.

How important is the role of the immediate and extended family in nurturing an individual on the autism spectrum?
Without a doubt, the support of the entire family makes a huge difference in nurturing any child. With children with special needs, the immediate family and the extended ones should be made aware of the situations they might face in interacting with the child. Sensitising the children of a similar age-group goes a long way in making the child more comfortable while interacting with others. Unless there is interaction without fear, it will be difficult for appropriate social skills to develop.